NO KIDDING

by Mordechai (Morty) Schiller

All the experts tell us not to do it. “People don’t buy products from clowns,” thundered Claude Hopkins. Others say, There’s nothing funny about getting somebody to part with their money.

John Caples put the whole thing in perspective. “The two most influential books in the world,” he said, “have no humor in them: the Bible and the Sears Catalog!”

In general, this is safe advice to follow. Many people have no sense of humor. You run a very real risk of confusing or, worse, offending your customers and prospects. So, stick to the straight and narrow: Appeal to benefits, reason-why copy, and, most important, a solid offer. And don’t try to be funny.

Now that I’ve satisfied all the purists, let me say, at the risk of my own reputation as a No-Nonsense Copywriter, it ain’t necessarily so.

As Schiller says, “People don’t buy from sourpusses.”

Now I’ve gone and done it. My 6th grade teacher is for sure going to say I always knew that Schiller was a wise guy! But, let me say in my own defense, I’m not advocating becoming a comedian. I haven’t forgotten: “Advertising is salesmanship in print.” And, “It’s not creative unless it sells.”

We’re here to sell NOT to entertain. But, in catalogs, in direct mail packages, in space ads... often a light humorous touch adds an element of humanity that engages and involves the reader, and actually gives you more credibility.

Even the late master David Ogilvy eventually came around to conceding that, based on recent factor analysis, humor can now sell.

We’re all familiar with funny commercials. But catalogers and other direct marketers have shied away from humor. Or at least from outright hilarity along the lines of the Federal Express spots.

Of course, if you’re Steve Allen....

Warming up for an NBC show, Steve Allen once ad-libbed a commercial for a product called Coldene Stick Chest Rub. The original script read, in part: “The full power of Coldene Stick goes to work faster to break up that painful congestion in the chest, nose and throat....”

Allen read the teleprompter and, instead of sticking to the script, he said, “The full power of Coldene goes to work, signs in, takes a coffee break, quits at five o’clock, goes home from work again, takes off its shoes and hits you right in the mouth. And it really breaks up painful congestion in the throat, nose, scalp, and balls of the feet....”

It was quite a shock for the people from Madison Avenue. But even Steve Allen used to get all the kidding out of his system before air time. (We’re talking here about the days of live television, not taped, canned shows that can be edited.) Still, in a more recent trade ad to catalogers for his album “Shakin’ Loose With Mother Goose,” Allen said the record was “so exciting it gives me Mother Goosebumps just to think about it.”

But I’m getting carried away. I did say no comedy didn’t I? Still, wouldn’t you rather walk into a store where the owner is smiling? It immediately makes you feel more relaxed and appreciated. And more likely to buy. Even in direct marketing, doesn’t much of the strength and credibility of New Pig’s catalog come from its light-hearted humor? I mean, how much would New Pig sell if they just said, “Our Product Sucks Oil”?

I once had an assignment to write an ad for a unique “prayer times” clock that gave the precise time of sunrise and sunset anywhere in the world. The rather punctilious client wanted me to treat it strictly “kosher,” emphasizing its practical religious benefits. I tried to convince him that—even among religious Jews—his zealous precision was not necessarily shared by a wide market. I insisted that this was an executive toy, and the only way to sell it is with some humor.

We finally compromised (usually a bad solution, but thank Heaven, win-win in this case). He got his practical benefits and I got my light touch. The results? The entire inventory was sold out! (See excerpt from ADS THAT SELL: How to Create Advertising That Gets Results by Robert W. Bly.)

There’s a common denominator, and a point, to all of this: Use humor if—and only if:

• 1. You use it to reinforce and support your basic promise.
• 2. You use it to be friendly, not funny.
• 3. You use it to attract, not to distract.
• 4. You NEVER lose sight of what you’re really doing: selling.

This appeared in my Copywriting column in Catalog Marketer.

© 2001-2008 Mordechai (Morty) Schiller

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